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Fall Digital Magazine

Wellness Community
Falling In Love
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Falling in love is one of the strongest positive emotions because it is accompanied by joy. When you are falling in love, whether it is romantic love, love for a newborn baby or even love for a newly acquired pet, the world seems a better place. Nothing or no one can bother you because you're so incredibly happy. In his book The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life, Thomas Moore writes, “During my years of practice as a psychotherapist, I felt that people bringing me their stories of a foundering career, a failing marriage, a tenacious depression, or an overpowering addiction were suffering from a deeper malaise. They had fallen out of love with life itself which, in their adult years, had become an absorbing collection of problems.” We've all experienced a scenario when a love relationship suffers because you have shifted your focus from all that you adore about your loved one to all the things you'd like to change. The more strongly you focus on the flaws, the more your loved one seems determined to display them. Spouses become annoyances, children spoiled brats and pets a real nuisance. Instead of being shrouded in a cloud of happiness, you are trapped in a downwardly spiraling tornado of negative emotion. You are falling out of love. Don't get me wrong, you still love your loved one but that is very different from being in love. One is a fact, the other a delicious action.

Read full article here!

Tender Touch
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North Americans have been called one of the world's least tactile people; we hold, hug, pat, stroke, fondle and caress each other much less often than do other folks. Psychologists have suggested that we suffer from "touch hunger" and that this is just one of the signs of our ongoing loss of connection and community. Most of us have fewer and fewer people to confide in and live our everyday lives on the edge of emotional isolation. Ironically, this is happening at a time when scientific studies are giving us the clear message that loneliness seriously harms our physical health, especially our hearts (literally!) and our resilience to stress.

This sense of isolation is a pivotal concern in love relationships. As a therapist, I know that when I ask a couple to tell me their story, they will immediately launch into tales of anger, fights and frustration. But the real story begins emerges when someone says the word "lonely." Partners tell me "I am lonelier with him/her than when I am by myself!" and they weep. This deprivation, this loss of emotional connection, is most obvious when we are not touched or do not feel safe enough to reach and touch our loved one. Emotional and physical connection go together.

Why is this separateness is so devastating to people? The new science of love tells us that feeling a sense of connection to another is the deepest and most pressing need we have as human beings. Our social brain codes this connection as safety, and touch is the most obvious route into this safety. There is evidence that touch floods us with the cuddle hormone oxytocin. This chemical turns off stress hormones like cortisol and turns on the reward centers in our brain. With a simple touch, we feel recognized, soothed, comforted and, in sexual contexts, aroused. Without this sense of connection, we feel emotionally deprived, even starved.

Rejection and a sense that we are emotionally separated from or shut out by our loved one triggers the same part of the brain, the anterior cingulated, as does physical pain, Partners speak about the pain of rejection or abandonment in terms of life and death. This is not because they are immature or too needy. It is because emotional isolation is traumatic, reminding us of our essential vulnerability in a world teeming with danger. If we cannot recognize our basic need and ask directly for touch and connection -- perhaps to be held, this moment of disconnection can be the beginning of a slide into more and more isolation and relationship distress.

Read full article here!

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Healthy Thought

You see things; and you say 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say 'Why not?'
George Bernard Shaw

Recommended Links

  • The Wave

    Tuesday November 11th at 11:11am (your local time) for 1 hour and then pass the wave to the next time zone.

    The Wave on Life Dynamix


    This is a brilliant vision from Paul!

    Paul on Life Dynamix

  • Member Wellness Messages

    Eco-Friendly Living - Tips and Discussion

    I thought maybe it would be helpful if we had an ongoing thread where community members can share some of the things we do to work towards maintaining a sustainable lifestyle and saving the planet.

    If each of us shares links we come across, or some of the small (or big) things we do in our everyday lives, it might inspire others to do the same - and give those of us who are eco-minded new ideas about simple things we can do that will add up to big changes.

    It might also be nice to have a place to discuss green, greener and greenest options so that all of us can have more information when making lifestyle choices that enhance world wellness and are still practical and workable for our individual lives and situations.

    So, here we's a thread for eco-friendly living tips and discussion. =)

    I'm looking forward to learning new eco-friendly, green living tips to incorporate into my life!

    I'll start =)

    Prevent Weeds Naturally with Vinegar - Regular household vinegar will generally work just fine, but if it isn't doing the trick, head to your local home or hardware store and get the 10% dilution, which is significantly stronger. Spray the vinegar directly on weedsfor non-toxic, chemical-free, natural weed control.

    dimmer switches – Install dimmer switches on lighting and you will save money on your energy bill, reduce your home’s carbon output, make your light bulbs last longer and enjoy a more relaxing experience with softer lighting.

    If you have old style dimmer switches already in place, it might be time to upgrade. Old-style dimmer switches convert excess energy to heat so, while you still get the mood lighting, you don’t get the energy savings.

    Dimmer switches are widely available and easy to install (or even easier if you delegate the task to your partner). =)

    click here to read more!

    Thoughts on Death on All Soul's Day
    Death is just another horizon waiting to be reached and it would open up to another vista of greater life. It is said that for those who have life a full life and who have conquered fear; for those who have accepted fully the consequences of life and living and death and dying; for those who have completed their energies to the pitch with their integrity and freedom of spirit, death becomes sweet. Shakespeare once wrote, "Oh Death where is thy sting!" The fabled Don Juan said that for those who have lived the impeccable life or those lived "the Warrior's Path", death gives a favor. Death will wait until you perform your last act on earth; It will watch your remaining moments with respect and awe for a life well-lived. You will perform your last dance with abandon, acceptance, peace...
    click here to read more!

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