Email to a friend
By Roberta S. Ezratty, CBSWDid you know?
1. By the age of two years we have been programmed with basic behavior.
2. We are unaware of this programming in our conscious mind.
3. Negative programming can be changed to become positive.
While growing up, if you lived with both of your parents, you probably saw them face conflict and make many decisions. Perhaps you observed them decide how much money to spend on a certain item, what to do for holiday, or simply who should put the dog out. The odds are high, however that you never watched your parents work through a serious difference skillfully and respectfully, let alone constructively discuss their own patterns of decision-making or conflict resolution.
In times past, gender and position usually prescribed decision making and conflict resolving at home and work. Seldom did partners openly talk about the communication processes how they listened, talked, and related. However, in today's fast-paced, complex and uncertain world of opportunities, most of us realize another way is possible.
Talking and listening together presents communication concepts and skills to increase your interpersonal competence and to help you and your partner live more satisfactory and meaningful lives together.
In any communicating you do, every message you send contains two component parts: attitude and behavior. Attitudes are derived from the combine beliefs (past programming), feelings and intentions you hold. Behaviors the verbal and nonverbal actions you take reflect and stem from your underlying attitudes. So, each exchange you make with your partner reflects your underlying attitude about yourself and your partner.
Two basic attitudes you can hold toward yourself are: 1 I don't care about myself.
or2 I do care about myself.
In every situation you communicate either verbally or nonverbally that you do or do not value, respect or have confidence in yourself.
Likewise, two corresponding attitudes you can hold toward a partner are:1. I don?t care about you.
Or2. I do care about you.
Again, in any exchange you communicate either that you do or do not value, respect, or have confidence in the other person.Each partner develops his or her own attitudes and is responsible for his or her own behavior.
In other words, ?I? choose either not to care or to care. Please bear in mind, that our childhood pattering has an enormous impact on our attitude.No substitute exists for love and carrying in communication! However, even with a genuine caring attitude, communication can be unclear, inept or misunderstood. This is where skill enters.
The next articles will help enable you to discover your patterns for handling conflicts and to establish interpersonal confidence for resolving conflicts and differences effectively and efficiently.
2622 times read
| Related news
- Super Relationship Tips: Do Something Totally Different
by VirginiaB posted on Dec 11,2005
- 7 Ways to Make Good Relationships Even Better
by JeffH posted on Dec 04,2005
- What You Say, What They Hear
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. posted on Nov 19,2005
- I'm So In Love, So Why Am I Depressed?
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. posted on Nov 04,2005
- How To Keep The Love Alive In Your Relationship
by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna posted on Nov 01,2005
- Bonding With Your Partner ? Without Candles, Wine or Lingerie!
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. posted on Oct 25,2005
- 7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. posted on Oct 14,2005
- Relationship Advice: 3 Small, Simple and Powerful Things You Can Do for Your Relationship
by JeffH posted on Sep 25,2005
- Five Easy Steps to Creating Your Dream Relationship
by Rod posted on Sep 02,2005
- How To Become More Positive and Attract Positive People and Situations
by Dr_Orloff posted on Aug 11,2005
- New Beginnings! What to do, What to do?
by Larry posted on Jun 30,2005
- Who Would You Have to Become?
by Larry posted on Jun 18,2005
- Kidding Around With Romance
by Larry posted on Jun 01,2005
- How To Love And Be Loved
by Patricia posted on Feb 28,2005
- Relationships Measure Spiritual Health
by Patricia posted on Feb 11,2005
- How To Attract Positive People and Situations
by Dr_Orloff posted on Aug 23,2004
- Couple Communication
by LifeDynamix posted on Jun 17,2004
- Actions of Love
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. posted on Jan 12,2006
- The Value of Communicating Well
by Dr. Jackie Black posted on Jan 23,2006
- Less Talk, More Action!
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. posted on Jan 26,2006
- Keeping Love Alive
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. posted on Feb 06,2006
- Dating Readiness Quiz
by Tonja Weimer posted on Feb 10,2006
- The Powerful Secret To A Loving Relationship
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. posted on Feb 14,2006
- The Logic of Emotions
by Nili Sachs, Ph.D posted on Feb 18,2006
- Avoid Settling for Less Than What You Need and Want While Searching for Your Life Partner
by Janice D. Bennett, Ph.D. posted on Feb 28,2006
- Nonviolent Communication
by Lawrence Wilson M.D. posted on Mar 25,2006
- Fear of Commitment
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. posted on Apr 02,2006
- Committed Relationships: Use Them to Grow Towards Self-Understanding and True Love
by Gabriella Kortsch, Ph.D. posted on Apr 09,2006
- Simple Steps To Having Healthy Relationships
by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna posted on Apr 17,2006
- Five Steps to Overcoming Commitment Phobia and Creating a Loving Life-Partner Relationship
by Janice D. Bennett, Ph.D. posted on Apr 29,2006
- 5 Principles for a maintaining a Successful Relationship
by Pradeep Agarwal posted on May 10,2006
- Critical Communication Styles and Results
by Barbara Rose, Ph.D. posted on May 26,2006
- The Mirror of Relationships
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. posted on Jun 20,2006
- 7 Secrets to Staying Positive in the Face of Negativity
by Lori Radun posted on Jul 31,2006
- I Need A Partner to be Happy
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. posted on Nov 01,2006
- 5 Actions For Successful Relationships
by Margaret Paul Ph.D. posted on Nov 12,2006
- Four Tips To Be A Great Listener
by Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD posted on Dec 02,2006
- The Power of Kindness in Relationships
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. posted on Dec 16,2006
- Beyond Valentines Day
by Tony Cuckson posted on Feb 14,2007
- Renewing Your Love For Each Other
by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna posted on Feb 16,2007
- How To Be In A Healthy Relationship?
by Shariemar Tininggal posted on Dec 09,2007
- The True Purpose of a Relationship
by E. Raymond Rock posted on Feb 12,2008
Did you find this article helpful?
(total 24 votes)