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Nathan Paul Sides and his sister were two of the greatest joys of my life. Nathan was a surprise and we called him our little gift from God-that is the meaning of the name Nathan Paul.

I lost him twice--once when he was three years old and now. It breaks my heart to say that I did not know my own son! Except the last time that I ever saw him, I had a chance to give him a big hug and tell him that I loved him and was so proud of him. Keep this in the present tense-I am so very proud of him, his accomplishments, I hurt for the pain that I did not know that he had.

You see that was the first glimpse of my adult son that I was given and was so looking forward to getting to know him. I only had thee or four phone conversations with him after that.

I have heard from his friends how he always wanted to help ohers and was so patient with them. I experienced his kindness and was unaware of it. Every time I had a chance to see him, I always repeated the same stories because all I had were memories.

For all of you who were his friends, you are all a very special group of people. I envy you.


Now, Nathan this is for you. I love you very much and miss you more than you will ever know. However, I have chosen the German word "Wiedersehen" rather than goodbye.

My life and the rest of the world will be a better place for your having been here.

All my love,
Dad

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