---

---

Austin Girl



Former FBI (Female Beagle Inspector) and mafia wannabe, Buddy Fat Bastard, a.k.a. Fat Bastard busted a two-foot western diamondback rattlesnake right between the eyes with his .32 Seecamp backup pistol at Austin Girl’s 180-acre ranch late last night.

Fat Bastard’s .32 Seecamp



Two-Foot Western Diamondback Rattlesnake



Wea Wea the Jack Russell called for backup when she spotted the dangerous predator navigating through Austin Girl’s garden. It slithered up the wilted banana tree, hiding. The poisonous snake lingered and gazed at the ten-pound Jack Russell named after a fictitious French cartoon gay rabbit with a bad hair do.

WeaWea the Jack Russell



“I pulled out the concealed weapon from my convenient fat folds,” said Fat Bastard arrogantly as he reached around, scratching his ass.

Fat Bastard



Fat Bastard explained to the dumbfounded police officer how he managed to take down the snake with such a close shot. “Wea Wea toyed and tormented the Texas-size rattler, dunking and diving, while I fired off two shots. Bang, bang,” reported Fat Bastard. “Bitches are good at that, you know, tormenting,” he added casually while munching down on diamondback kabob.

Wea Wea (again)

Tags: Seecamp Pistol Diamondback Rattlesnake Banana Trees Austingirlblog

Bookmark: